Only in transparency is there truth... and only in truth is there trust... and only in trust - is there life.
There are three kinds of people who avoid transparency at all costs: The insecure, the arrogant, and the devious. The insecure shun transparency for fear of judgment. The proud or arrogant shun transparency preferring to play life close to the vest. They distain openness as being dangerous, naÃ¯ve or weak. He who gives himself airs of importance, John Lavater said, exhibits the credentials of impotence. The devious are schemers - the prince of rogues - they see life as one big con game. Though a man of integrity may fall seven times he rises again, but schemers and connivers are brought down by their own hand.
Secrecy belies a fear to trust. To trust prematurely often leads to many wounds and sorrows. Trust is a slow growth flower and should not be hurried along by any sense of urgency. I prefer to walk with a man two to four years before I would trust him to be alone with my wife.
Security is part of a woman's DNA. I am persuaded that this acuity, this ability to "see through", gives a woman an advantage. Men have a tendency to want to get on with conquering the mountain. Sometimes they lock step with the unscrupulous. Greed can be a terrible master.
I was negotiating an agreement one time concerning the filming of a training program for a company. On the way home my wife said that she would not deal with this company based on the man they sent to represent them. I asked her why, and she said that whenever I asked him a question, he never looked me straight in the eye. She said that the eyes are the window to the soul. There needs to be a transition from the head to the heart, for what's in the heart, comes out of the mouth of man.
It wasn't until several months later that I learned her instincts were right. I have found that a man who fails to listen to his wife is profoundly foolish.